Oh No Olivia!
by starie78
Summary: After a hard case has been closed Casey pursuades Alex to help her drag Olivia on a girls night out.  Casey is pretty sure that Alex likes Olivia hopes to help her do something about it.  That is until they discover Olivia has been attacked.
1. Prologue

**AN: I live in the UK, so use UK spellings, but I'll try my best to use the right phrases etc. for the context. If you spot any glaring errors, please let me know in the reviews.**

**This is my first FanFiction and the first time anything I tried to write has been seen by people other than a couple of close friends. I'm very much a beginner, so please be nice, but do let me know what you think and particularly what needs improving.**

**I do have a rough plan of how I want things to go, but nothing is set in concrete, so please give me your suggestions. I've been on the site for just under a week, but I've read lots of wonderful stories (lots & lots while I've been in bed ill) so I know there are some very talented people around. Please review, review, review.**

**I hope you like it :)**

**Prologue**

It had been a tough couple of weeks, but finally it was over. We'd just put away a guy who had kidnapped and raped several children all under 8. He got life with no hope of parole, but even still it had been a hard week, especially for Olivia.

Olivia had dealt with all the victims and their families. She was still breaking in the newbies, Nick and Amanda, and didn't want to take any chances. Fin and Munch had been chasing down leads and working with Huang to draw up a profile, but in the end it was Olivia's work that enabled them to catch him. Despite all the good work she had done she was blaming herself for the harm to those kids, especially the last one. The boy had been missing 5 days when Liv found him, but when she broke down that door she was horrified by what she saw.

The perp James Miller had obviously heard the police getting nearer and decided he would have a little more "fun". Fin told me that when they entered the room, a second behind Olivia, Miller was in the process of raping the boy. He just looked up at them and smiled, sick bastard!

Olivia went with the boy to the hospital and wouldn't leave his side for hours, until he felt safe with just his parents there. They were so grateful to her!

She hasn't spoken about to anyone and Cragen's worried. She's been having a hard time since Elliot left SVU. He's the closest thing to family she has, although we all love her. I've wondered for a while now though if one of our friends loves her in a less platonic way and maybe this is what Olivia needs – to feel loved, special, needed. I have a plan, but only time will tell if it works.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"Come on Alex, you can drag yourself away from those files for one night. I think Liv really needs to get out and let her hair down, you know how involved she gets and I'm telling you this was a really tough one."

"They're all tough ones Casey."

"I know Alex, but you should have seen her in court today. She was the last one to testify and she barely held it together. I'm sure that's one of the reasons the jury came back with the verdict so quickly. An experienced Detective like Olivia, with more than a decade in SVU, and yet it was obvious to everyone there how strongly this had affected her."

"You really think it was that bad?" said Alex, her voice getting quieter.

"Well Cragen clearly does! He's ordered her to take next week off."

"Well she won't like that! She hates taking time off!"

"Exactly! She was finishing off some paperwork earlier, she should be done soon. We'll take her for a girls night out. Bite to eat, plenty to drink and see if we spot anyone cute to keep us company."

I winked at Alex and I swear she started to blush. She turned away and packed her things before turning back to me. "Ok Casey, I'm in."

* * *

><p>Shortly after, we were stood on either side of Liv who was sat at her desk. Most of the others had already gone, but Cragen was still in his office. As we pleaded with Liv to join us, Cragen came out of his office, looked at us and turned to Olivia.<p>

"Olivia. Out. Now."

"Captain!"

"I mean it Liv. Go and let your hair down. Besides, I can't concentrate with these two making such a racket." He winked at us as we dragged Olivia out of her chair and made her put on her coat.

"Now look what you've done" she said. We grinned and, after she grabbed her purse, we took an arm each and led her out of the building.

* * *

><p>An hour later we were sat at a table in the bar and were on our third round of drinks. We were all a little tipsy, but we'd decided to eat later. That should help soak up some alcohol. I sat back and watched as Olivia began to relax while Alex asked what she would do with her week off. It was rather amusing to watch. Oh, it wasn't so much listening to Liv cite a long list of jobs she was going to catch up on. Not even listening to Alex admonish her and tell her to take time to relax. No. The amusing thing was the expression on Alex's face! Boy, she definitely has it bad. I wasn't certain before, but after watching Alex's face and the way she lights up whenever Olivia laughs, now I'm sure.<p>

Olivia excused her safe to go to the bathroom and I turned to Alex.

"Well?"

"Well what? she replied.

"When are you going to tell her how you feel?" I said, a huge grin spreading across my face.

This time Alex was definitely blushing. "I..I d..don't know what you mean Casey. Liv's my friend, she knows I care about her."

"Oh sure!" I looked her straight in the eye, but she looked away. "That's why you're blushing. That's why you haven't taken your eyes off her all night. That's why you light up when you see her and more so every time she laughs."

Alex's face grew redder and she started to look really nervous.

"You're not going to say anything are you? Please Casey, don't tell her. I'm not even sure she knows I'm gay."

"Hey, don't look so worried." I put my hand on her arm. "It's your move Alex, but don't wait forever. I think it could be just what you both need."

"But Casey, she's not gay! Look at all the men she's been out with."

"Sure." I said "but look how long they last. You really think she's into men? Maybe she's fooling herself. Maybe she's just desperate to have kids. But really Alex, I think you have a better shot then any of the fools I've seen her date."

Alex looked down thoughtfully. "But what if she gets upset and I lose her as a friend?"

"What if she doesn't and something happens between you?" I countered.

Alex continued to look thoughtful while she sipped her drink. "You're right I suppose. I had feelings for her for such a long time, but I thought I could get past it. I never have though. I suppose I have to at least try, otherwise I'll never know."

"Sure." I said. "Besides, even if she isn't interested I'm sure she'll be flattered. I doubt you'd ever lose her friendship. You've been through so much together."

Alex smiled "We sure have."

We started to discuss some of the major cases we had dealt with during our respective times at SVU, but after a few more minutes we were starting to get worried. Olivia had been gone for ages. We knew she wouldn't go without saying goodbye, but with all the stress she'd been under and the way she had knocked back those first few drinks, we wondered if she had become ill. We both got up and headed toward the ladies bathroom.

What we saw when we got there horrified us both. Olivia was slumped against the wall, blood trickling down her cheek, clothes torn and her pants and underwear had been pulled down to her ankles.

"Oh my God." Said Alex before kneeling down beside Olivia. While Alex sat with her, tears pouring down her face, I called 911 and then called Cragen.


	3. Chapter 2

**AN: Wow! Already quite a few people have added alerts for this story and I have two reviews. Not bad for my first piece of writing and it's been up less than 12 hours, so thanks everyone.**

**Eljh55 – **_**Part**_** of the answer to your question – What happened to Olivia? Is answered in this chapter, but more details will gradually appear later on.**

**boardergurlie – Thanks for your input. I'd noticed there wasn't much with all three girls in, but that really doesn't make much sense to me. Olivia is the only female cop on the team for most of the time and has worked closely with, and become friends with both Alex and Casey. The two of them would surely have come across each other at least occasionally through their work and have a common link to SVU. Whether they are portrayed as gay or straight, I don't see why they are a threat to each other or their relationships. I wanted to try writing AO but mostly from an outside POV and Casey seems the most obvious choice.**

**Anyway guys, here's the next chapter. Please leave reviews – I'm very much a beginner and I need the feedback. Enjoy :)**

**Chapter 2**

We sat in the waiting room for what felt like a lifetime. Alex had gone in the ambulance with Olivia and I'd followed. Cragen arrived only a few minutes after us. We hadn't called the others yet.

Brooklyn SVU were taking charge of Olivia's case with a watchful eye from IAB. They didn't want us getting in the way. Not only are we too close, but Alex and I were the only witnesses so far.

I looked at Don. He was fiddling with his phone, obviously trying to decide if he should call. I understood the dilemma. Olivia has no close family (only her useless brother who hasn't stayed in touch) and the team is the closest thing to a family she has. Hell she's like my big sister. But would she really want everyone to know all the details, she's a private person after all and doesn't tell us half off what goes on in her life, but she's going to need all the support we can give her.

I looked at Alex then. She was pale and her eyes were puffy. She'd quietly cried the whole time and who could blame her, but I knew Alex cared about Olivia even more than I did. They'd known each other a long time and were so close that even when Alex was going into WPP she wouldn't leave without saying goodbye to Olivia (& Elliot). And of course I now knew Alex's feelings had developed even further.

Don got up and looked at us. He'd finally made a decision.

"I'm gonna call Elliott. He should be here too. Hopefully by the time he arrives they'll have some news for us. Then we can decide what to tell the others."

I nodded and he walked over toward the door and went outside. I was feeling kind of numb, it just didn't seem real.

After a few minutes Don came back inside. I think it had started to sink in for him as he looked as though he'd also been crying. Alex hadn't moved, just sat staring at the floor, tears quietly running down the side of her face. I was about to get up and move closer to her when a doctor appeared.

"Family of Olivia Benson."

I stood up, but Don went straight over to him.

"We're the closest thing she has to family. How is she?" He showed the doctor his ID.

The doctor nodded.

"She has a mild concussion, a couple of cracked ribs and some cuts and bruising. The cut on her cheek required several stitches but should heal fine. She's regained consciousness and is extremely anxious, but given the circumstances that's hardly surprising. She's insisting on being discharged, but someone will have to be with her for at least 24-48 hours because of the head injury."

"That's fine," Don replied. "Was she raped?" He asked the doctor.

"Yes. I'm afraid she was. We've done a rape kit, but she seemed anxious about who would be handling the case. I gather she works at SVU?"

"That's right," replied Don "we've handed it over to Brooklyn SVU."

"Ok, that should give her some peace. She was very worried about having to go into everything with her colleagues."

The doctor was just about to show us through to her when Elliott arrived.

"Don, what's happening? How is she?"

As we followed the doctor up the corridor Don filled him in.

"Oh no! She was raped. I'll kill him. When I get my hands on the bastard who did this to her I'll kill him."

"Elliott calm down." Don held onto the front of Elliott's jacket. "She needs us to be here for her, not getting in Brooklyn's way. They can handle it. Their Captain is on it personally. He's a good man. Right now we need to concentrate on Liv."

Elliott looked at him and his shoulders slumped. He nodded, took a breath and continued on along the corridor with us.

The doctor stood at the door of the room where Olivia was and looked round at us.

"She would be better off here overnight, but that's clearly not going to happen. Make arrangements for someone to be with her and I'll get the discharge paperwork ready."

He opened the door. "Ms Benson, your friends are here, I'll be back shortly." Then he left the room.

We went inside. Olivia was lying on the bed with her face turned away from us. I could see the cut on her cheek and her head was bandaged, but she'd dressed in some clothes provided by the hospital, so her other injuries were hidden.

"Olivia honey, we've come to take you home." Don slowly walked to the other side of the bed.

"I need to make a statement."

"Sure Liv, but Brooklyn SVU are handling it. We'll get them to see you in the morning. That's a nasty bump on your head and you need rest."

"I'm scared to go home." She mumbled. Then she put her head on Don's shoulder and started to cry.

"Come back to my place Liv," said Alex from beside me. "There's plenty of room. Casey can come with us."

"No offence Alex," said Elliott "but I'm not leaving until I know she's safe."

"Fine, come with us. You can be our guard. What about it Liv?" she said.

Olivia nodded, wiped her eyes and carefully stood up.

We made our way out of the room and when Olivia had signed the paperwork we all headed off to Alex's.


	4. Chapter 3

**AN: Thanks for the great response everyone. I'll do my best to keep the chapters coming quickly, but some will take longer than others. The more feedback, I get the easier it is to see if I need to make changes, so please keep reviewing.**

**My plan is to have most of the story from Casey's POV, especially early on. However, there will definitely be scenes from other peoples POV including Alex and Olivia.**

**Chapter 3**

When we got to Alex's I could tell that despite the situation, the guys were impressed with her place. They'd obviously never been there. She must have moved since her time with SVU because they're forever knocking on my door for warrants. I'd only been there a couple of times myself. Usually after a group of us had been out somewhere and we wanted to keep the party going.

The place is a huge 3 bedroom apartment that looks like something out of a magazine. I know she has family money as well as a pretty good salary, but this place impresses you no matter how many times you've seen it. There's never a thing out of place either, I don't know how she does it.

Don had spoken to Olivia in the car and they agreed that he would fill the rest of the team in at the office in the morning. It was very late and we were all tired. Liv was exhausted. Don left and Elliott, after checking everything was secure, took up position on the sofa nearest the living room door. From there he could lean back and see all the way along the hall, to the front door in one direction, and to the bedroom doors in the other.

Alex and I took Liv through to the kitchen where Alex warmed up some milk. She set mugs down for each of us, then took Elliott a coffee and a blanket. He was determined to keep guard. I don't think he felt any danger would find us here, but I think he wanted to feel useful and thought Olivia might feel better. I think she did to some extent.

Alex came back in as we were finishing our milk. She quickly drank hers then asked Olivia if she was comfortable as she was or would she like something to change into. Olivia's head kept drooping and she was clearly tired, but she was fighting it hard. She said she was ok as she was, so Alex and I helped her down the hall to one of the spare bedrooms. She looked so lost and afraid as we tucked her into bed, that it broke my heart. Alex was struggling to hold back the tears, but was determined to be strong for Liv. I know Alex has a reputation as 'The Ice Queen' at work, but that's business. At heart she is a soft, caring woman who always wants to help. Much like Liv really. I suppose it made it all the harder for Alex to hold it together, knowing how much Liv had come to mean to her.

We sat in the room for a couple of minutes and that's all it took for Olivia to fall asleep. Quietly, Alex and I got up and left the room pulling the door closed behind us. That's when Alex started to cry again.

"It's not fair Casey!"

"I know."

"Why Liv? She's had a hard enough time as it is. Who would do this to her?"

I pulled Alex into a hug as I felt the tears fall on my own face. "I don't know, but you can bet your life no one is giving up until we've caught the bastard and locked him away for good." I looked down at Alex and she nodded. "Right now Alex, we just need to be here for Liv and help her through this. We can do that can't we!"

Alex nodded again and pulled away from me. "Let's get some sleep. It's late. Take the room over there, everything's ready for guests."

* * *

><p>We hadn't gone to bed until after 2am, but something woke me just before 5. It took me a moment to realise that someone was crying out. I rushed to the door and yanked it open. As I turned in the hall toward the sound, I saw Elliott standing in the door to Olivia's room looking helpless, just as Alex rushed in there. I followed and felt my heart break again. Liv was curled into a ball, eyes wide with fear, tears streaming down her face. Alex was knelt at the side of the bed and slowly reached out to stroke her hair. At first Liv flinched as if she was afraid. Then she seemed to wake further from her nightmare and realise who was next to her. She relaxed slightly and allowed Alex to offer that small comforting touch.<p>

As close as Elliott was to Liv I knew he was uncertain what to do. There'd been partners for a long time and he had always tried to protect her, but tough as Liv was, she had always been adamant that she could hold her own as well as any of the guys. Most of the time she'd been right too. Now though, as we stood in that doorway, I knew Elliott found it hard to see her looking so vulnerable and he was worried how she would react to his presence. He didn't want to scare her, but also he knew she wouldn't want to appear weak in front of him. It was the very reason she had been concerned who would handle her case – she didn't want to seem weak to any of the team.

I put my hand on his arm. "Go back and sit down Elliott, we've got this." He looked up at me uncertainly for a moment, but then he turned and walked back up the hall and resumed his position.

As I entered the room Alex looked up at me. She looked so careworn and almost appeared to have aged several years in just the last few hours. Olivia was gradually calming down, but although exhausted didn't look as though she would sleep again anytime soon. It would still be several hours before the Brooklyn detectives interviewed Liv. I turned on the small TV on a cabinet in the corner of the room. Alex and I helped Olivia to get comfortable in a sitting position, being careful of her cracked ribs and then we both climbed into the bed, one on either side of her.


	5. Chapter 4

**AN: This chapter is slightly longer, but it didn't feel right to split it into two short chapters. I'm working on Chapter 5 now, but it might take slightly longer than the others before it's ready.**

**I'm delighted with how well this has been received, but do please keep the reviews coming.**

**Chapter 4**

Sometime later I awoke to the sound of a gentle knock on the door frame. Elliot stood there with three coffees in his hand. He was almost smiling. I turned my head slightly to see what he was looking at. Alex and Liv had eventually both fallen asleep again too. Alex had her arms wrapped tightly around Olivia and Olivia's head was resting on her shoulder. I couldn't help but feel reassured by the sight and felt myself smiling too.

Elliott came over and handed me one of the coffees before setting the other two down on the cabinet next to Alex. As he looked back up at me he said quietly, "Cragen called. Brooklyn want Liv at their precinct in a couple of hours. Don's called the team in and is going to tell them shortly. Brooklyn have told Don it would help if he and the guys go through Liv's files for any possible suspects, anyone who has made threats to Liv or who have a grudge. Don thinks it's a good idea, a way to keep everyone involved and feeling useful. Apparently IAB weren't so keen, but the Brooklyn Captain told them it was the best way to make sure our guys kept in line."

I smiled sadly at that. I knew how close the team were and they would want to feel like they were doing something useful. This seemed like the best way, without anyone getting too involved in the case. I nodded. "Thanks Elliott. I'll wake them up and we'll be out soon. Go and put your feet up for a while, you've been up all night."

"Think I'll see what I can find for breakfast first, I don't know about you but I'm famished." We both smiled, then Elliott headed toward the kitchen quietly closing the door on his way out of the room.

I looked round again and, as I watched Alex and Olivia sleep for a moment, I wondered what would have happened if Alex had had a chance to speak to Olivia last night. If she hadn't been attacked, would Alex have found the courage to tell Olivia how she felt? Somehow, even in the mist of all that had happened, I still felt they had a future together – especially as I watched how Alex comforted Liv even in sleep.

"Alex," I whispered. "Alex, it's time to wake up."

Slowly Alex opened her eyes and looked at me. Then she looked down at Liv, still held tightly in her arms. She frowned slightly as she looked back at me. "It wasn't just a bad dream then!"

"No. I'm afraid not. Cragen called Elliot. Brooklyn want Liv down there in a couple of hours to take her statement. Don's going to call the rest of the team in and tell them what happened. He's got the ok for them to go through Liv's files to look for possible suspects. He and the Brooklyn Captain figure it's the best way to keep the guys involved but out of trouble."

Alex nodded her head, "sounds like a wise move to me."

"Elliott's made us all coffee and gone to make a start on some breakfast. We need to wake her up and get her ready to go."

Alex nodded and moved one of her hands from around Liv's middle. She stroked the hair away from Liv's face at the same time as quietly saying her name. "Liv. Liv sweety, you need to wake up now."

Slowly Liv opened her eyes. She looked at me sat in front of her and then turned her head to look up at Alex. At that moment I could see the horror filling her eyes as she remembered what had happened, why she was here. She looked down, avoiding both our gazes, but as she tried to move away from Alex she gave a loud moan filled with pain.

"Liv. Take it easy. Remember you've got a couple of cracked ribs as well as a concussion." As I spoke I looked at Alex. We both knew that if we said the wrong thing, Liv would retreat back into her shell. Liv had had her share of injuries on the job and hated to feel weak and vulnerable. She always shrugged it off as if it was nothing when she was around the guys, but we had both caught glimpses of the real Liv behind the mask she put on. "Liv, we need to get you ready to go down to Brooklyn and give your statement."

She nodded but didn't speak. Alex reached over and passed Liv one of the coffees "here drink this" she said. Liv took the cup and started to drink. She still wouldn't look at us, but we agreed, with a look at each other, not to push her. Alex picked up her cup and we all sat quietly drinking for a few minutes.

* * *

><p>At about the same time Don was talking to the team at the 1-6.<p>

**Don's POV**

I sat in my office waiting for them all to arrive. I told them to come straight to my office for a briefing. In the interest of keep things simple, and making sure everyone would be there for Liv, I had also asked George Huang and Melinda Warner to join us. They filtered in one at a time, grabbing coffee, drop off coats at their desks, before finally coming into the office and finding a space. Munch arrived first, complaining that it had better be something big, before perching on the edge of a cabinet in the corner. Nick and Fin arrived close together. Fin went to stand next to Munch, but Nick grabbed one of the chairs in front of the desk. Huang arrived next and took a position next to a bookshelf just inside the door. Just as he'd come in I spotted Amanda and Melinda Warner headed across the bullpen. Melinda grabbed the chair next to Nick and when I asked Amanda to close the door, she then took a position in front of it.

I looked around at them and dreaded the look of horror I knew I was about to see on their faces. The same look that I'm sure was on mine when Casey Novak called me last night.

"Ok, now that everyone's here I'll explain."

"Hang on Cap. Where's Liv?" asked Fin.

"Just bear with me and I'll explain everything." I could see the worried looks start to cross their faces, but I knew that it was about to be worse.

"There's no easy way to say this," I paused and took a breath "but this is about Liv." Now the tension in the room had increased tenfold. "Liv was attacked last night." I put up my hand to holt their questions as they all started to speak at once. "Liv went to a bar with Cabot and Novak last night. They became worried when she took a long time to return from the bathroom, so they went to look for her. They found her slumped against the wall of the ladies bathroom, unconscious. She's been beaten and raped." There was a collective intake of breath. "She regained consciousness at the hospital but has a mild concussion. She also has a couple of cracked ribs and some cuts and bruising including a nasty cut across her cheek which needed stitches. You all know how much she hates hospitals and the doctor ok'd her discharge as long as she's not left alone for the first 48 hours. We took her to Cabot's place. Cabot and Novak are staying with her and Elliott's there too playing bodyguard." At that I saw Fin and Munch smile slightly.

"Brooklyn SVU are handling the case," I held up my hand again as I saw Fin about to protest. "Their Captain is a friend of mine and he's handling it personally. He knew you'd all want to be involved and IAB have agreed, all be it reluctantly, that you can be the ones to go through her files. Look for anyone who's made threats etc. you know the drill." I turned to Huang "Doc, they'd appreciate you going over there and helping them with a profile. You know Liv well enough to know how she'd react when threatened. Maybe you can spot something on the crime scene photos." I looked at Melinda. "Melinda, I know you're her friend and we both know how well she takes doctors advice. I thought maybe you could pop over later and check on her." I sat further back in my chair. "Liv's going over to Brooklyn to make her statement shortly. She was concerned at the hospital about who would be handling it. She doesn't want to go through it with _us_ right now, but I'm sure you'll all be there for her if she does need us. Alex and Casey have got her well taken care of right now and I suggest we leave it to them. If any of you need to talk about this, you know where I am. Now let's get cracking."

They all filed out, tears in their eyes, but with a determined stance. We will find who did this.


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

It took us a while to get ready that morning. Liv was still in a fair bit of pain and was moving slowly. She still hadn't looked any of us in the eye and had barely spoken. I hoped she would find it easier to speak when she gave her statement, but I wasn't about to put money on it.

By the time we had raided Alex's closet for clothes that Liv and I could borrow, and all got washed and dressed, Elliott had breakfast ready for us all. Liv looked pale, more so than before, from the effort of getting ready and sat silently, eating little. Alex and I made arrangements with Elliott. He would drop us off at Brooklyn SVU then go by mine and Olivia's apartments and pack us each a bag for a few days. Then he'd pick us up and bring us back to Alex's place, before going to spend time with his kids. Saturdays are one of the few times he got to spend time with them, even after leaving SVU and I think he needed to be close to them now more than ever. Alex and I both promised him we would take care of Liv and would call him if we needed anything else.

* * *

><p>The Brooklyn detectives were very kind to us all when we arrived at their precinct. Their Captain personally came and led Olivia to the room they would use to take her statement. We had both offered to go with her, but she had refused looking panic stricken. We took the opportunity to formalise the statements we had made in the hospital waiting room last night, then just sat and waited.<p>

Eventually, the Captain came out and spoke to us. "Ladies. We will need to speak to her again at some point and see if she can remember any more details. She's told us what she can, but she's obviously not got a clear head yet. I'll update Don shortly, but right now we need to look for other witnesses. Take her home and take good care of her. We all know her reputation around here and I assure you this guy isn't going to get away with hurting one of New York's finest. She's pretty shaken and I think she's going to need her friends more than she ever has in her life."

"Thank you Captain." I watched him walk away and then looked at Alex. She had stood silently listening to the Captain her face a mixture of sadness and anger, but when the Captain spoke of Olivia's reputation, of her being 'one of New York's finest', she had looked so proud. Clearly Olivia's strength and determination had shown even during the difficult interview she had just sat through.

We walked over to where Olivia was just emerging from the interview room. She looked pale and drawn, but less anxious then she had when we arrived earlier.

"Come on Liv, let's get back to my place." said Alex quietly. She reached an arm around Olivia, pulling her close, and Liv leaned into her as we walked up the hall. Elliott met us downstairs and we all got in the car. I sat next to Elliott as he drove and he handed me back mine and Olivia's apartment keys. I looked in the back and started to relax a little, not realising how tense I'd been. Olivia had her head on Alex's shoulder and Alex was stroking her hair while whispering something soothing.

It was a sign of how bad Liv was feeling that she actually felt a need to be comforted, but at least she wasn't completely shutting us all out as I had feared.

* * *

><p><strong>Olivia's POV<strong>

As I opened my eyes I couldn't work out why Casey was there, looking right at me. My head was throbbing slightly and everywhere hurt, but especially my ribs. I must have been hurt. I realised I wasn't at my place and that someone was holding me. I looked up into the sad face of Alex Cabot and suddenly I remembered what had happened. I turned away. I didn't deserve their care, their compassion. I tried to move away, but it hurt so much. That bastard had caught me off guard and I hadn't had time to defend myself. Why hadn't I been paying more attention? I'm not normally so careless as to let my guard down like that, but it had been a tough week.

I drank the coffee Alex passed me and wondered how the hell I could get through this. It was good to know I didn't have to give my statement to anyone I knew, but what if the guys were hurt by that. I'd let them down enough by getting into this situation in the first place.

It hurt so much as I slowly washed and dressed in something of Alex's. I felt so weak and helpless, but I obviously wasn't hiding it as well as I hoped. Alex and Casey were being so gentle with me, so kind. It was good to not be alone, I felt so scared, but I felt humiliated letting them see me so weak. Elliott made us all breakfast, but between the pain in my ribs and the knot in my stomach, I felt too nauseous to eat much.

Casey sorted out everything that needed doing with Elliott. I'd almost forgotten how well that man knows me. I hate him seeing me like this and I know he always feels like he has to protect me, but he can't. Bless him though; he was going out of his way to be helpful without smothering me. Guess he figured the girls were doing enough of that and that running errands was a much more practical way to help. Since Alex was insisting we stay at her place it made sense to get Elliott to collect some of my things. I really didn't want to be on my own, but it was hard enough admitting that to Don last night, I'm not sure I could've said it again.

Alex was fairly quiet, mostly leaving Casey and Elliott to sort everything out, but she was never far from my side. It's like having a watchdog stand guard. When the guys try it at work I hate it and give them a hard time, but somehow this didn't feel like that although I'm not sure why.

We got to Brooklyn SVU and I knew both Casey & Alex were worried about me going into the interview alone. I couldn't have them there though. It was hard enough keep seeing those images flashing though my mind, but I knew that if my friends were hearing it I would break down. I had to just get this over with. The Brooklyn Captain is a friend of Don's and although I hadn't met him before he treated me as if I was family. Still it was hard. Parts of what happened are jumbled in my head; it's all a bit of a blur. I guess the effects of the concussion haven't completely worn off, but I told him as much as I could remember. I know he'll need to speak to me again when my head is clearer, but for now I'm relieved that part is over. Now I have to work out how to get through this.

I can't imagine how I'm going to get through it or what I'm supposed to do next. I still can't believe this is real, that it's all happening to me. As I left the interview room I was so glad that Casey and Alex were there. Alex put her arm around me and it felt good to lean on her. Elliott picked us up and when we got in the car I saw him hand Casey our keys. Ever the efficient ADA she had all the practical details in hand. I felt so drained, both physically and emotionally, that I started to shake. Next thing I know Alex has reached over and put her arms around me. She gently pressed my head to her shoulder and started to stroke my hair. I was still shaking, but felt myself relax a little. I don't know what it is about the way Alex holds me, but somehow she makes me feel as though everything will be all right.


	7. Chapter 6

**AN: I've had such a great response to this story. Thank you everyone. Remember Casey is the main narrator, so unless a scene is labelled as being from someone's POV then it is Casey. There is more of Olivia's POV in this chapter and the next one and it will keep coming in. There will be stuff from Alex's POV, but not until much later in the story. I'm saving that until the initial stuff is over and they get more deeply involved. I've not decided if I'm adding anyone else's POV yet, I'll just see how things go.**

**I'm not quite as happy with this chapter as the others, but I can't put my finger on the problem. If anyone has any suggestions please let me know. I'm working on the next couple of chapters, but something is missing. I'll update as often as I can, but please be patient if some chapters take a bit longer than the rest.**

**Special thanks to Eljh55 for continually reviewing the story. Keep the reviews coming everyone. Thanks.**

**Chapter 6**

When we got back to Alex's place Olivia went to curl up on the couch. She had dropped off for a few minutes in the car, but was clearly still afraid of being alone. Elliott left and asked yet again that we call him if we need anything. I'm sure he won't stay away long even if we don't call. Alex headed to the kitchen to make drinks, so I grabbed the bags and went to the bedrooms hoping that Elliott had remembered all the things I told him to pack.

It didn't take long to unpack mine and Olivia's bags and when I went through to the lounge Alex was just setting the coffees down on the table. Liv was curled up tight on one end of the couch, still with the look of a frightened child about her. I was about to go over to her when Alex grabbed a blanket from the back of a chair, wrapped it around Liv's shoulders and sat next to her, putting both arms around Liv. As I sat in a chair, I couldn't help but smile. Although Alex was being very protective of Liv, in a way I've seen Liv resist from the guys at SVU, she was letting Alex and even seemed somewhat comforted by it. Again that feeling washed over me, that these two belong together.

I turned on the TV and flicked through the channels until I found a family film on as the Saturday afternoon matinee. We sat there in silence, just watching the film, Alex holding onto Liv as if she could keep the rest of the world away, keep her from any more hurt and pain.

I guess the lack of sleep last night caught up with us all because the next thing I knew someone was knocking at the door and when I looked at my watch it was 6pm. I looked up and saw Alex about to move but Liv was still asleep at her side. I signalled her to stay where she was and I went to see who was at the door. When I looked through the peephole I saw Melinda Warner. Don had obviously sent her to check on Liv. I opened up and showed her through to the lounge.

Melinda smiled when she saw Liv curled up at Alex's side. "I don't have to ask if she managed to get any rest then!"

"No. She's ok considering what she's been through." I replied. "I was worried she would completely shut us out, you know what she's like Melinda. She's not said much, but somehow Alex seems to have got through to her enough to at least be able to comfort her." Alex blushed and avoided my eye, but I could sense the relief in her at having got through at least a little to Olivia.

"That's good; she's going to need her friends." Melinda said. "How is she holding up physically?"

This time Alex spoke, unconsciously stroking Liv's hair as she did. "She's clearly in pain, but she's taking her time, moving about slowly. The Brooklyn SVU Captain said she would need to go back again when her memory is a little clearer. From what he said it sounded as though she was a little foggy during the interview this morning."

"That's to be expected with a concussion. I'll give her the once over and check her dressings, but the main things she needs is time and rest. It looks like she's getting that here."

"Alex, I'll go make some coffee. Why don't you wake Liv up and then join me while Melinda checks her out?"

"Sure."

I walked through to the kitchen carrying our cups from earlier and after setting them in the sink I put a pot of coffee on. I could hear talking as Alex woke Liv up. After a couple of minutes she came and joined me in the kitchen while Melinda checked Liv over. We made plans for the rest of the week and waited for the others to join us.

* * *

><p><strong>Olivia's POV<strong>

I was vaguely aware of getting back to Alex's apartment and curling up on the couch and then Alex sitting with me, holding me tight again. The next thing I knew Alex was waking me up and Melinda was stood there. It was clear that Don had told her what had happened and part of me wanted to shut myself away so that I wouldn't have to see the hurt and pity in her eyes, but I couldn't. Alex obviously realised how I was feeling and before I could act she stroked my hair and whispered to me. "You don't have to be afraid or alone. We're all here for you, including Melinda. You know she's just here to help, to make sure you're ok."

I nodded. I did know that. After so long alone though, it was hard to let people in. How was it that Alex knew just what to say and do? I know we've been friends for a long time. Almost as long as El and I were partners. Somehow though this felt different. It was almost as if she could see in to my soul. I'm so grateful for that, but what would happen when I had to go home, back to my small apartment where I would once again be alone.

"Liv." I looked up at Melinda. "I want to check you over and change your dressings. Is that ok?" I nodded, still trying to find my voice.

"I'll be in the kitchen with Casey, come and join us when you're done." said Alex. I nodded again.

"Thanks Alex. We won't be long." Melinda put her bag on the floor and sat next to me. "Ok Liv, I know this is hard for you and I know what you think of doctors, including me when I'm prodding and poking you. We'll make this as quick as possible and just remember I'm also here as your friend."

"I, I know Melinda. T..thank you."

"Ok let's look at this bump on your head first." Melinda proceeded to examine me, being quick but thorough and extremely gentle. She worked her way from my head to my cheek and, after helping me to remove my top, she checked my ribs. I felt so vulnerable again, but I wanted this over with so I didn't stop her. I couldn't help it though when I started to shake again and I could feel the tears forming in my eyes.

"Liv, you can put your top on again now. I know this is hard, but you're doing well, especially since you haven't even snapped at me yet." She grinned as she said that and I knew she was trying to make me feel better. I managed to give her a small smile of appreciation and she squeezed my shoulder gently. "You'll get through this Liv. It'll just take time and you need your friends around you. It looks like Alex and Casey have that in hand. Talk to them, don't bottle up your feelings like you usually do." She squeezed my shoulder again. "I'll always be here when you need me too. Now let's go find that coffee Casey promised."

I got up and we walked through to the kitchen. Casey looked up from where she was sat. Alex appeared to have been pacing, but stopped and turned around to look at us.

"Everything ok Melinda?" Alex asked as she walked to my side.

"It's fine. Just keep doing what you're doing. She needs plenty of rest, but with time she'll mend nicely. Now where's that coffee I was promised?"

Casey fetched the coffees and we all sat quietly in the kitchen, the others chatted briefly but kept their voices low. It was kind of soothing to listen to them. After Melinda had gone I sat there quietly for a few minutes whilst the others chatted and sorted out some food. I'd always found it hard to let other people in, but this was way too big to manage on my own especially after Sealview. Besides which, after the way Alex and Casey had looked after me it doesn't feel quite so scary to let someone in anymore, but it does feel scary to be alone.

After we'd eaten I looked up at them, nervously and said "Guys, can we go in the other room and talk?" They looked up at me somewhat surprised.

"Sure Liv, come on." Alex put her arm around me again and led me back to our spot on the couch. Casey followed and settled into the chair she had occupied earlier. It was time to begin.


	8. Chapter 7

**AN: WARNING! RAPE DESCRIPTION!**

**In this scene Olivia describes what she can remember of the rape. I've not been too graphic in the description so I believe it is on a par with something that might be on the show.**

**Please keep the reviews coming.**

**Chapter 7**

**Olivia's POV**

I looked down, not knowing quite how to start. Alex was still holding onto me and it felt like a lifeline.

"It's ok Liv, take your time." Casey looked across at me as she spoke and reached out to put her hand on top of mine.

"It's all still muddled in my head. I'm just so scared but its worse knowing that some of the pieces just aren't there." I paused and took a deep breath. "I remember being at the bar with you guys and talking about my leave and I remember heading to the bathroom. The next thing I know I felt a pain in my side. I think he must have hit me from behind. I remember falling, but then it's all confused. Maybe that's when I hit my head, I'm not sure. I could feel him pulling at my clothes and touching me. I think he tried to kiss me, but I must've moved. I remember feeling him hit me again and I felt dizzy and nauseous. I could feel his hands on me, but I think I blacked out for a minute." I paused to breathe but couldn't help the next words coming out on a sob. "The next thing I knew I was looking into dark brown eyes and I could feel him moving on top of me, inside me. I felt sick and I wanted to push him away, but I couldn't move. I just remember trying to speak, to tell him to stop, but I couldn't get my voice to work properly. The next thing I remember after that is waking up in the ER." I knew the tears were flowing steadily down my face, but I had to say the rest before my courage completely failed me.

"I shouldn't have let down my guard. I know better than that. It's my fault. I should have been more careful. I didn't even get a proper look at him, I just felt so sick, I couldn't breathe. I'm scared, really scared. Please," I looked at them imploringly "don't leave me alone. I don't want to be alone." The last words had come out as a whisper. I couldn't hold back any longer, I just put my head down and cried.

Alex pulled me closer and I put my head on her shoulder. I don't know how long we stayed like that, but eventually I felt my eyes closing and I must have fallen asleep.

* * *

><p>We sat there quietly as Liv told us what happened. I don't know if I was more scared about what she was telling us or the fact that she seemed so lost she was actually opening up to us. This isn't what I'm used to from Liv. As she got to the end I was horrified to hear her blame herself. I know it's not unusual with rape victims, but how could she think any of this was her fault. I knew my face was already wet with tears, but when she pleaded with us not to leave her alone I felt the tears pour.<p>

I watched as Alex pulled Liv closer and Liv settled into the side of her. It wasn't long, although it felt like an eternity as I listened to her sobbing, but soon Liv was asleep again.

I looked at Alex and saw how I felt reflected in her face. The pain we felt on Liv's behalf. The anger at being so helpless, so unable to do anything. The guilt, wondering if we could have done something differently to prevent this. I knew that was just as wrong as Liv blaming herself, but I couldn't shake it right now and I suspect Alex had the same problem.

* * *

><p>We didn't know what else to do, but at this point we were glad that at least Liv was resting peacefully. After turning on the TV, and passing Alex the remote, I fetched my briefcase over to go through some files. It was obvious Alex had no intention of moving from Liv's side and when we had discussed our plans earlier she'd told me she would take the week off. Apparently she has a lot of leave due and only one brief court appearance this week. She has some files in her briefcase to work on and I'll collect others for her on Monday. I don't have much leave accrued yet, since my return to the DA's office, but I can take a few hours to be here while Alex is in court.<p>

Liv's opened up for one of the first times in her life and she told us how scared she is, begged us not to leave her alone. We're certainly not going to let her down.

* * *

><p>The rest of the weekend passed slowly, but soon enough it was Monday and I had to get ready for work. Alex hadn't left Liv's side for a minute and Liv seemed to appreciate that. The phone had rung several times. Don rang each evening. Elliott rang Sunday and some of the others had called or txt to check up on Liv too. They all wanted to help, but at the same time they wanted to give Liv space, to not put pressure on her. Don had obviously convinced them that Alex and I were taking good care of her and even Elliott had been content to just call for now, promising to come over on Tuesday.<p>

I found it really hard to go into the office Monday morning, but I knew Alex was taking good care of Liv. I also knew the best thing I could do for them right now was to make sure Alex had all the files she needed from work, without her having to leave Liv. I didn't know what would happen between the two of them, but the more I saw them together, saw Liv leaning on Alex, the more convinced I was that they belonged together.


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

The next few weeks passed in a blur for all of us. Alex and I took it in turns to be with Olivia as much as possible and when we couldn't be there Don made sure one of the guys was available. Brooklyn had a witness who had seen someone following Olivia towards the bathroom, but they hadn't thought anything of it at the time, so the description was sketchy at best.

After the first week I had gone back to my own apartment, but I went straight to Alex's every time I left work. Olivia remained at Alex's, still afraid of being alone, and still recovering from her injuries. We knew that Olivia was soon going to have to go to the precinct, even if she was desk bound for awhile, but still she didn't seem ready. It was frightening really. All the fight, the bravado, the passion for justice, every that made Olivia who she was, seemed to have disappeared, hidden behind the fear. She'd told us that some things seemed clearer in her memory now, but that there were still gaps. I don't know if there was something she was refusing to tell us or if it was a memory still trapped in her subconscious, but something had her even more terrified then we had expected and it seemed to be growing. I discussed it with Alex and she agreed. She then spoke to Cragen and Huang about it, but none of us could work it out. Huang suggested we just give her time, maybe she would find a way to tell someone when she was ready. It's hard though, seeing her in so much pain. Like a frightened child unable to go back to sleep after a nightmare.

The only time she seemed to find any peace was when Alex held her. Alex had given me a spare key to her place and several times I walked into her lounge to find her reading through case files whilst Liv slept, curled up at Alex's side with Alex's arm around her. It wasn't until we were talking to Elliott one evening that we realised how much difference Alex's presence actually made. Several times over the past weeks Liv had woken from a nightmare, just like that first night. It had happened when I was there and when Fin had stayed with her one day and this time Elliott had seen it. The only person who hadn't seen it was Alex. In the evening they either fell asleep on the couch or Alex took Liv into her room, but all the times that Alex had been there holding her Liv never had the nightmare and slept peacefully. As we realised this I could see Alex was stunned. I think it's one of the few times I've actually seen her speechless. Elliott on the other hand just grinned. That huge grin he has like a Cheshire cat. I couldn't help myself, I started to grin too.

"W ..what are you two grinning at?"

"Oh come on Alex, don't look so stunned. I know now's not the time for you to say anything to her, but she's clearly as mad about you as you are about her."

"I..I... W..What?"

Elliott grinned even more "sure. You're cute together. If anyone can help her through all this it's clearly you Alex."

"Definitely."

"I... no... I mean."

"Ahhh. Look Elliott, she's lost for words. Remember this moment; you may never see another like it.

Finally, Alex regained some of her composure. And her powers of speech.

"Ok you two knock it off. Whatever it takes to get Liv through this I'll do, but now is definitely not the time to be thinking about my feelings for her."

"Ok, Alex, but don't think you can hide it forever." After that we changed the subject, but that feeling I had about the two of them kept growing stronger. With the realisation of how much Alex's presence was already affecting Liv I was more certain than ever that Liv shared Alex's feelings and that it was only a matter of time.

* * *

><p><strong>Olivia's POV<strong>

Did I dream it? Was it just part of the recurring nightmare or did he really say that? It's all so frightening and confusing. My feelings are even more confused, but even still I can't let anything happen to her. I don't know what do to, how to handle this? This isn't me, it isn't my life, it's not how things are supposed to be.

But how should they be? Things needed to change. I knew before this happened that things had to change, but not like this. Oh why did this have to happen? Why can't I pull myself together and stop being so afraid? He's still out there. I know they're doing all they can, but they still don't know who he is. If I could be sure I hadn't dreamt it, maybe it would help them find him, but I can't risk it. I can't risk him finding out and hurting her.

I thought my feelings for her were under control before this happened, I thought I could handle it. I've never felt like this about anyone before and it's almost as frightening as thinking of him, but in a different way. I couldn't handle it if she rejected me. What if it spoiled our friendship? Right now I need her. I only feel safe when I'm with her and I know that she is safe then too. But what if he still decides to come after her? I couldn't stop him before, what if I can't protect her either? I think I'd rather die than risk losing her, yet I don't really have her. She's not really mine. I'm too frightened and confused to tell her how I feel. I wish these nightmares would go away. They never seem to bother me when she's here, but when she's not I feel more afraid and that lets the nightmares in.

Oh why won't they stop?


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

About a month after the attack Liv returned to work. Restricted duties, part time basis, but at least she was getting out. She'd barely left Alex's apartment. Hell she'd barely left Alex's side since the attack and I hoped this would be good for her. The guys were no longer going through her files. The list of possible suspects they had compiled, along with all pertinent information, had long since been passed to Brooklyn SVU. Brooklyn were still actively working the case, but with no leads and no new information they had hit a wall.

I still had the feeling that whatever was behind Liv's nightmares could be important to the case, but she still hadn't revealed anything further. Maybe getting back to a version of her normal routine would help her perspective and shed light on the mystery locked away inside her. I knew Huang intended to be around as much as possible while she adjusted back to work. Could he pick up on something?

* * *

><p><strong>Don's POV<strong>

I'd kept in touch as much as possible and Casey had given me regular updates. We hoped that getting back into the routines of work again would be good for Liv and with Huang around maybe we could identify any remaining problems. It was great to have her back at the precinct and the guys did their best to welcome her back and reassure her. I was hoping that everything would be ok now, well as ok as it ever would be, but none of us saw this coming!

* * *

><p><strong>Huang's POV<strong>

The bureau are as aware as anyone of the great work Liv's done over the years and were keen to help in any way they could, even if it meant sparing me for extra time at the 1-6. I tried not to make it too obvious, but Olivia is an intelligent woman and knew I was keeping an eye on her. Just watching her I could tell something wasn't right. Sure it was going to be difficult for Liv to recover and readjust to life, but the longer I watched the more I thought Novak was right. There was something Olivia was holding back. I couldn't work out if she was conscious of it, but there was definitely something there that she was hiding.

As Munch has said before there's always something that rape victims hold back, something they don't tell us and Olivia has kept things to herself her whole life, but wow, this surprised even me. I hadn't expected Olivia to react this way especially given how long she's been a detective. Why didn't she trust the squad with this sooner? It must have been such a weight on her shoulders I'm surprised she managed to keep it hidden so long.

* * *

><p><strong>Olivia's POV<strong>

I know everyone means well and I'm glad to be back at the precinct, but it doesn't feel right. It's not the same any more. I should be with her. I need to make sure she's ok. Sitting here at this desk is almost as unbearable as being in her apartment knowing she has left for the office. Maybe if the nightmares would stop. She makes them stay away, but when she's not there they come back to haunt me. I know now that they're real. He did speak those words. He did know who we are. I still can't remember his face. I feel as though his name is constantly on the tip of my tongue, but whenever I try to say it, it vanishes.

I feel so tired. It's been a long day, but I don't want to leave yet. Alex won't be finished until late and it feels safer here than at her place without her. At least the guys are all here and Casey keeps popping in. I'm just so tired. It's a constant fight and I'm not even sure what, who, I'm fighting anymore. I'm just so tired. I've tried not to sleep in the crib, I'm afraid of the nightmare returning, but I'm so tired.

* * *

><p><strong>Don's POV<strong>

I'd been watching her from my office. It had been a long day for all of us and it wasn't over yet. I should have sent her home, but I knew she wanted to wait for Cabot. As it turned out it's probably I good thing I didn't send her home, otherwise I don't know if she would ever have told us.

The more I watched her head drooping then suddenly jerking up, the more I knew I had to do something. She couldn't go on like that.

"Olivia."

"Yes Captain?"

"Go get some shuteye in the crib."

"I'm alright."

"No you're not and that's an order. Go. Now."

"I..I..I can't."

I could hear the pleading tone in her voice. I hadn't realised she was still so scared. I walked over and put my hands on her shoulders. "Come on Liv. You need to sleep. I'll sit with you awhile. Ok?"

"I..I." She paused "ok" she sighed resignedly.

Huang was still around and I saw him hovering a short way behind us. As Liv stood up I put an arm around her and led her into the crib. She lay on a bunk and I pulled the blanket over her. She's been like a daughter to me for many years, but this was the first time I tucked her in. I felt that she needed it though. She looked so frightened still, like a lost child.

I waited until I was sure she was asleep and then left the room. Huang was just outside and when I described how Liv seemed to me he agreed.

I don't know how long we stood there, discussing the options, debating whether there was anything else we could do to help, but when I heard her call out I went straight to the door. None of us had heard the beginning of her nightmares before, but as I stood frozen in the doorway I wished we had.


	11. Chapter 10

**AN: Ok everyone, I'm pleased with the responses this story is getting, but more reviews would really help. What do you like the most? Are there any problems that need addressing? Let me know what you think.**

**I haven't written any of chapter 11 yet and it might be a few days before I do. I've got a rough plan of how the next few chapters will go, but suggestions would be appreciated. I'll get more online as soon as I can but I've got a busy week ahead so please be patient.**

**Enjoy :)**

**Chapter 10**

**Olivia's POV**

"No. Please. Stop." I pleaded with him, begged him. The pain was unbearable and my head was spinning.

"No, please. I won't tell. I won't say anything." He was hurting me, but I almost couldn't care. I couldn't stop him hurting me, but maybe...

"Please. Don't hurt her. It's not her fault. NOOOOO!" As I yelled those final words I woke with a start. At first I couldn't make out my surroundings. For a moment I thought I was still there in that bathroom. Then Don came over to me and knelt by my side and I could see it. It was on his face. I hadn't just said those words in my nightmare, I had called them out for real. This time someone had heard me and there was no hiding it. I couldn't protect her any more.

As that thought hit me I felt a pain in my chest as though someone was crushing me. I couldn't keep her safe and he would kill her. I turned away from Don, curled in a ball and sobbed.

* * *

><p><strong>Don's POV<strong>

Of all the things we'd expected, this wasn't even on the list. As much as she was hurting she was clearly trying to protect someone else, another woman. It didn't take a genius to figure out who. I looked at Huang and saw the same understanding on his face. I saw him get immediately on the phone and trusted him to have it under control. As I knelt by her side I could see her shutting herself off from us both physically and emotionally. After all she's been through I'm not surprised but I want to comfort her. I know though that only one person can bring her that comfort, I just hope she can reach her.

* * *

><p>Somehow I knew this call was coming, I don't know how. I was already running towards Alex's office when the phone in my hand rang. I slowed to answer it and when I looked up Alex was there. She must have known too. I didn't realise until much later that she had been in the middle of an important meeting. As I listened to Huang talk, my eyes widened. I grabbed Alex and made her wait. We'd been about to head to the parking garage, but instead I pulled her around and headed out the front door. There was a patrol car waiting for us and we jumped in. As I hung up the phone I explained to Alex what had happened. I don't know what frightened her more – the secret Liv had been keeping or the pain it had brought her.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Alex's POV<strong>

All this time. She'd kept it locked inside her all this time. Of course we wouldn't know the full details until she told us herself, but Don and Huang had heard enough. All this time I'd been trying to protect her, not realising that she was also trying to protect me. I was scared, of course I was, but it was an unknown threat and I've been threatened many times before.

What really scared me was Liv. What state would she be in when we got there? Would she now open up and tell us everything? Could she, even if she wanted to?

I know how Liv usually shuts us all out and I'd been so relieved when she'd spoken to me and Casey about the attack. She'd been so frightened it never occurred to me that she might be holding something back.

* * *

><p>I could see the panic and worry on Alex's face as we sat in the back of the patrol car. This seemed so unreal, yet at the same time it all made sense. Liv has always kept things from us. Always tried to be tough. Always tried to protect those around her. This was just like Liv in so many ways. But how? She'd been so frightened. So scared of being alone. How had she kept this locked away inside her?<p>

Then it struck me. She hadn't. This is why the nightmares were so bad. She couldn't keep it in. As hard as she tried it had escaped from her the only way it could – through her nightmares. Oh Lord, this made it worse. We'd found out without her wanting us too. Would she actually be able to tell us.

I looked at Alex again. I could see the same thoughts going through her mind. I prayed that Alex would be able to get through to her, for both their sakes.

* * *

><p>We reached the precinct and headed straight upstairs. Huang was waiting for us by the elevator and led us straight to the crib. Alex rushed straight in. Don was knelt by the side of the cot where Olivia lay. She was curled up in a ball, shaking.<p>

"I can't get through to her Alex. I think you're the only one who has a chance. We heard her call out and she's so afraid, but when she seemed to realise we'd heard her she just shut down." Don sound so worried, so upset as he spoke. He looked at Alex and almost seemed to be pleading with her to make Liv better.

Alex looked stunned. I can't imagine how frightened she must have felt. She looked down at Liv and I could see tears in her eyes. As she sat on the edge of the cot she reached out and stroked Liv's hair murmuring softly to her all the time. At first it didn't appear as if it was having any affect, but gradually I could see Liv shaking less. Eventually she stopped and looked up at Alex. Alex held her arms opened and Liv reached out to her. As they sat there huddled together, holding each other tightly, they both had tears flowing down their cheeks. They weren't the only ones.

Eventually Alex had calmed down and was rocking Liv. She was still murmuring to her, but I couldn't hear what she was saying. Suddenly Liv looked up at her and though she spoke quietly we all heard through the stillness "I don't want to lose you Alex. He said he'd kill you if I said anything and I can't bear that. I..I..I love you."


	12. Chapter 11

**AN: Sorry for the wait everyone. This was a tough chapter to write. I'm still working on the next stage after this, but there'll be more about AO and less about the case for a while now I think. This chapter has the remaining details for the case until it's solved later on.**

**Reviews always help so please keep them coming and thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far.**

**Chapter 11**

**Alex's POV**

I was stunned. She loves me. Is this real or is she just so scared? It doesn't matter anymore. She needs me and I've known for a long time that I love her. We'll figure everything out eventually, but right now I not afraid of letting her know how much I care.

"I love you too Liv. I have for so long. Its ok, you're not going to lose me, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

I stroked her hair and I felt her hold me tighter. She was so afraid yet she'd tried to be brave and she was trying to protect me despite her fear.

I looked up at the others. I'll always be here for Olivia, but right now that's not enough. We need their help. We need to find out what it is she's been holding back. Who is this man? How does he know who we are?

* * *

><p>I don't know how to feel right now. There are so many emotions coursing through me. Horror, at what Liv is still going through. Fear, for her safety and Alex's. Relief, that they've told each other how they feel. Pride, that my two strong, independent friends can be there for each other even when the situation is so difficult.<p>

As Alex looked up at us I could see her pleading with us to help her. The only way through this is to get Olivia to open up and tell us what else she knows, but it's not going to be easy, even with Alex by her side.

"Don, call Brooklyn. She needs to make another statement." He nodded at me and left the room. Olivia looked up at me, she looked so frightened but she held my gaze for a moment before nodding. Then she turned away. She knows she has to do this but she's clearly terrified and I don't blame her. I just hope she doesn't come to resent me for insisting that she tells what she knows.

* * *

><p>It wasn't long before Don came back into the room with his phone in his hand. He crouched down next to Alex and Olivia and spoke quietly to them before raising the phone back to his ear.<p>

"Yeah, can you come here? I know. Thank you." He looked back at Alex before saying "He's on his way."

* * *

><p>It seemed like an eternity as we stood there waiting. Alex remained on the bunk holding Liv tightly to her. Eventually the Brooklyn Captain arrived and Huang and I went down to the squad room to wait.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Olivia's POV<strong>

I don't know what to do. I can't protect her anymore. They know too much. If I tell them the rest he might find out. What if he comes after Alex next? What if he comes back to get at me again? I'm so frightened, but I can't see any other way.

The Brooklyn Captain is here. He's talking to Don. Casey and Huang have gone, probably to the squad room. I'm so glad Alex is still holding me. I don't know if she meant what she said to me, but it sounded like she did. Despite everything else I'm relieved that I finally told her how I feel. I've been scared to tell her for such a long time, but now, with the thought of losing her, I just had to say something. To tell her while I can. It was so hard when she went into WPP, I can't lose her again.

They're coming over. I know they want answers. Need answers, to continue with the case. I'm scared. I don't know if I can do this.

I can feel Alex holding me tighter. She's stroking my hair again. I can't help but feel comforted by her touch. She's here, with me, safe. For now.

* * *

><p><strong>Don's POV<strong>

I can see she's scared but she's got to tell us. We agreed that I'll ask the questions this time, but Geoff needs to be here to record everything and get straight to work on it at Brooklyn SVU.

As I walk closer I can see Liv tense, but before I say anything Alex is holding her tighter and stroking her hair. This seems to relax her slightly and I know I've made the right decision to keep Alex in the room. It's not going to be easy for her, but without her I don't think Liv will tell us what she knows.

"Liv honey. You know what we need to do. I know you're frightened, but you've got to tell us."

She looks down at her hands, but nods her head slightly.

"He said something to you didn't he! Something about Alex!"

She nods again and grabs tighter to Alex's arm.

"You've got to tells us now Liv. We'll keep you safe. Both of you."

"I. I...I'm scared Don." Her voice is little more than a whisper, but in the quiet of the cribs it's all we need. "I still can't remember everything that happened. It keeps coming back in pieces, a bit at a time. I keep hearing his voice in my dreams. At first I didn't know if it was real. If it was really part of what happened. Then it started to become clearer. He said it was my fault he'd been locked up and that I needed to pay. He said he'd had a special incentive to find me, when he met his new friend James. He said they both thought I should pay and that James had given him the idea. I couldn't make sense of it all. My head was hurting and I could only see his eyes. I couldn't focus on the rest of his face. He said if I was a good girl and took my punishment nicely he wouldn't have to make anyone else pay, but if I told then he'd kill me and 'that Cabot woman' who helped me put him away. He seemed vaguely familiar, as if I met him along time ago, but I couldn't see his face properly. I know though, he's dangerous, cruel even. I'm not sure how, but I know he means what he says. I keep feeling as though his name is on the tip of my tongue, but every time I try to say it, its gone."

At this point she started to sob and I felt so helpless. I saw Alex pull her closer and put her head on Alex's shoulder. Alex looked scared, but at the same time there was something else on her face. It took me a moment to place it. Then I realised it was pride. I couldn't help but feel it too. This had been one of the most difficult things any of us had had to deal with, with being so personally involved, but Liv had survived it. It's never been easy for her to depend on others or to ask for help and since Elliott left that's only gotten harder again. Scared as she is though, she's managed to tell us and I know she'll get through this.


	13. Chapter 12

**AN: Ok everybody here's another chapter. It took me a while to work out how to get from where we were to where I'm aiming for, but I think I've finally got it. I'm drafting chapter 13 but it's almost finished so it should be up in a day or two. Your reviews really help, especially when I reach a difficult piece to write, so please keep them coming. I think you might be surprised by the turn of events during the end of this chapter into chapter 13, so I particularly what to hear your thoughts one those parts.**

**Enjoy :)**

**Chapter 12**

As they walked into the squad room the Brooklyn Captain said something to Don and then headed over to Munch and Fin. I guess he needed information on something. As I looked back I could see Don telling Alex something and she nodded her head and looked across at me, beckoning me closer. As I walked across the room I looked at Liv. She was holding tightly on to Alex's arm and had her head down, staring at the floor. She looked like she was somewhere else and I was worried. Was she now going to shut herself off from us as she'd done so many times before.

"Hey Alex."

"Casey, can you grab some stuff from my office for me?"

"Sure, just give me a list. What's happening?"

Don looked at me. "We're putting uniforms outside Alex's apartment and an extra patrol in the neighbourhood. Since Olivia's still staying with Alex they'll both be covered until we know who we're dealing with."

Olivia shifted uncomfortably, but Alex just reached up and stroked her hair again, murmuring something quietly in her ear until she relaxed slightly.

"Alex is going to take more leave while we look into all this and Geoff is going to look at the old cases again, concentrating on ones where they were both involved."

"Ok, let me know whatever you need me to do."

Alex looked at me again. "Can you grab my things from the office and meet us back at mine. I'll write you a list of the files I need and I left my coat and stuff there too. Don's sending us home in a patrol car."

"Sure. Let's sort out that list and then you can get going." I reached out to Liv and gently put my hand on her arm. She jumped slightly but didn't pull away. "Liv, you've done well, but now you need to let us deal with it. Ok?" She nodded slightly, but didn't look at me.

Don led Olivia into his office while Alex and I used her desk to make the list of what I should collect from the office. She filled me in on what Liv had said and although I could see she looked a little scared I could tell she was more worried about Liv. She kept looking across at Don's office and I could tell she'd thought the same as I had. Was Liv about to shut us out, or given what they'd shared would Alex be able to get through to her again?

* * *

><p><strong>Alex's POV<strong>

Olivia still hadn't said anything by the time we got to my apartment. She clung to my arm as if she was afraid I'd disappear and she hadn't looked at anyone since we left the cribs. As we headed into the lounge I was getting more and more concerned. Was she about to shut us all out again? Was there anything else she hadn't told us? Could I do anything to get through to her? As we sat down on the sofa I was startled out of my own thoughts by Liv suddenly speaking to me.

"I can't lose you again Alex. When you went into WPP I thought I'd lost my chance and that I'd never see you again. Now I've finally told you how I feel and I can't lose again." Her voice was quiet, gradually becoming more strained. Finally as she finished speaking she began to cry, sobbing so hard she was shaking.

It was a heartbreaking sound and I reached out and pulled her to my side, but I couldn't help feeling relieved that she wasn't shutting me out. I could feel the tears sliding down my own face, but it didn't matter. She's mine now and I'll keep her safe. I'll protect her from everything, including herself.

"Ssshh, it's ok Liv. I'm right here and I'll never leave you again." I reached up and stroked her hair again in the way that I'd discovered she found calming. She snuggled further into my side but continued to cry for several minutes. All I could think was 'at least she's letting it out now'.

It wasn't long before Liv fell asleep, exhausted from the emotional turmoil that she'd struggled through. I felt so relieved that she'd opened up to me, but I couldn't relax. I just kept thinking about how much time we'd wasted not telling each other how we felt, how many times we'd almost lost each other for good. I couldn't help feeling scared that with everything going on I still might lose her.

I carefully moved from Liv's side and settled her on the couch. I could feel the tightness in my chest as the fear and sorrow became overwhelming. I'd barely made it to my room before I found myself shaking and sobbing so hard I could no longer move. I sank to my knees on the floor as the dam burst and everything came flooding out.

* * *

><p>I'd been to the office and got everything Alex asked for and grabbed my own stuff too. I quickly explained to Michael Cutter, our Bureau Chief, what was going on and told him I'd be out the rest of the day. He seemed astonished and told me to take whatever time I needed to make sure they were ok. He also said he get someone to cover all Alex's court appearances until this was dealt with. I'm not sure how she'll feel about that but I doubt that's her priority right now and it's good to know we have a boss who cares even if it's not always obvious.<p>

I was nervous about what I'd find when I entered the apartment. The uniforms on the door were expecting me and had been told to let me come and go as I pleased which was a relief. When I reached the lounge and saw Olivia peacefully sleeping on the couch I was so relieved I almost didn't register that Alex wasn't in the room. When I heard a loud anguished sob from up the hall though it suddenly hit me that I hadn't seen Alex and I rushed to her room as I realised that was where the sound was coming from.


	14. Chapter 13

**AN: This chapter follows on directly from chapter 12. I suppose it's sort of an emotional filler, not much actual action, but it's important for setting the scene to further the AO relationship. It's usefulness will become more obvious in the next couple of chapters so please bear with me.**

**Chapter 13**

As I got to the door I froze for a moment. There was Alex, on her knees on the floor, sobbing like there was no tomorrow. That's when it hit me. She'd been there for Liv all this time, had now even heard the threats made against them both, but apart from that first night I'd not seen her show more than a glimpse of how she was feeling. As I knelt beside her and put my arms around her I realised that she'd been so busy looking after Liv that she was the one who'd bottled up her feelings the most.

I tried to soothe her, to calm her, but nothing I did seemed to help. She seemed almost hysterical now and there was only one thing I could think of. I got up and went through to the lounge and gently put my hand on Liv's shoulder.

"Liv. Liv wake up." She opened her eyes and looked at me. She seemed a little startled to see me there, but she obviously saw something on my face that told her something was wrong and she was immediately alert.

"Casey. What's wrong?"

"It's Alex. I found her in her room. I can't get her to stop." Suddenly we heard a loud sob and I dashed back to Alex, Liv right behind me.

As Liv knelt beside Alex she looked up at me. "Casey what happened?"

"I don't know Liv. I got here with all the stuff she asked for and saw you asleep. Then I heard her and I found her like this. I can't get her to stop."

"Alex." Liv sat against the side of the bed and pulled Alex against her. "Alex, I'm here. It's ok now, I'm here." Alex reached up and clung to Liv, but continued to cry. Liv looked at me and I could see she needed help but I felt just as lost as she looked.

After a moment I said the only thing I could think of. "Liv. I think she's been holding this back for so long we've just got to let her get it out. Since that first night she's been so busy making sure she was here for you I think we all forgot to make sure that she's ok. Before we found you that night, she'd just decided she was finally going to tell you how she felt. Afterwards, we were all so worried about you, about you shutting us out. Now I think it's just got too much for her.

Liv nodded. "Casey, help me lift her onto the bed."

Between us we managed to lift Alex up and we settled her onto the bed, sitting beside Liv. She was still clinging tightly to Liv and the crying hadn't eased at all. I stood there for several minutes, trying to decide what to do next. I looked at Liv as she held Alex tightly and she looked back at me.

She only said two words to me before turning her concentration back to Alex "Call Melinda."

I felt relief wash over me as I saw a glimpse of the Olivia I'd known for so long. Strong, determined, decisive and above all caring. As hard as it was to see Alex like this, maybe it was what Olivia had needed all along. To know that not only was she not alone, but that someone needed her.

I went into the kitchen and got out my phone. I was relieved when Melinda answered straight away, almost as if she'd been waiting for my call.

"Melinda, it's Casey. Can you come over to Alex's straight away?"

"Sure Casey. Don told me what happened. I think he suspected one of you might call me. How's Liv doing?"

"Melinda, Liv's not the problem, it's Alex."

"Alex! Casey what's happening?"

I explained to Melinda what I'd found when I arrived at the apartment and what had happened since.

"I'll be right over Casey." With that she hung up the phone. I put mine on the counter and headed back to the bedroom.

Liv looked up as I came in. Although she looked frightened it wasn't the same fear I'd seen in her since the attack. I don't think anything else registered with her other than the distraught woman in her arms. "Melinda's on her way."

* * *

><p>Although it seemed like forever, Melinda was soon there. I let her in and showed her straight through.<p>

"How long has she been like this?"

"When I got here I found her like this on the floor. That was over an hour ago. When I couldn't calm her I went in the lounge and woke Liv. She hasn't let go of Liv since. Whatever we do makes no difference, we just can't get her to stop. She's not even spoken to us."

"Ok I'm going to give her a mild sedative to help calm her down. Liv, how are you doing?"

"I'll be better when Alex is ok." I could see the worry on her face still, but she was clearly relieved that Melinda was here.

* * *

><p>A few minutes after Melinda gave Alex a shot Alex had finally stopped crying. She looked exhausted but that was hardly surprising. She still continued to hold onto Liv but her grip had relaxed and she looked slightly more at ease. Liv looked less worried too, but her attention was fixed on Alex again and she spoke soothingly to her and stroked her hair just as Alex had done so many times with Liv.<p>

"Liv, do you want a coffee?" I asked.

"Sure, that would be good. How about you do Alex one of the fruit teas she's so fond of?"

"No problem, we'll be back soon." I led Melinda through to the kitchen and started to make the drinks. "I'm glad you could come over so quickly Melinda we didn't know what to do."

"I'm glad I could too. After what Don told me I thought I might be needed but I was expecting the call to be about Liv. I would never have imagined seeing Alex like that."

"I know what you mean but it occurred to me before. We've all been so busy looking after Liv, Alex most of all, we never really stopped to see how Alex was doing. Did Don tell you what they said to each other?"

"You mean about loving each other? Yeah, he seemed a little shocked. Not so much about how they feel, more that they said it and that he got the impression they'd both been holding it back for a long time."

"Alex and I were discussing it at the bar that night. Alex finally decided to speak to Liv, to tell her how she felt. We were waiting for Liv to come back from the bathroom, but of course she didn't and that's when we found her."

"I hadn't realised. No wonder this was so hard on Alex."

"Yeah."

* * *

><p>When the drinks were made we carried them through to the bedroom. Alex and Liv were still sat just as we'd left them, but I could see Alex's eyes fighting to stay open. We put Liv's coffee on the cabinet but passed her Alex's tea before sitting on the end of the bed. Liv got Alex to sit up further and held the cup while Alex drank a little. Finally, when it seemed she couldn't stay awake any longer I took the cup from Liv and she settled Alex back against her side. Moments later Alex was asleep.<p> 


	15. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

When I woke the next morning it took me a moment to get my bearings. I realised I was in Alex's spare room again but it took me a moment to recall the events of the previous day that had led to me staying. After Melinda had gone I'd ordered takeout. Liv stayed by Alex's side and when the food arrived I went and sat on the end of the bed so we could talk while we ate.

Obviously Liv's still scared, but she seemed to find it easier to open up to me now. I can see more of the Liv I've known all these years fighting to show through from behind the mask of fear that has been enveloping her all these weeks. As great as her fear is, her love for Alex is clearly stronger. The thought that Alex needs her, is suffering so much because of her feelings for Liv, seems to have strengthened Liv's resolve to fight through this. It's hard to believe that a few weeks ago they hadn't even confessed their feelings to each other.

It was very quiet as I got up and left my room. They'd both been through so much that I didn't know what I'd find this morning. That was why I'd decided to stay last night. I went to Alex's room and peeked in. They were both still asleep and looked so peaceful that I decided not to disturb them. I went in search of coffee, being as quiet as I could, but by the time it was made I had company.

"Morning Casey."

I looked up surprised. I hadn't heard movement. "Hi Liv, how are you doing?"

"I'm good."

I looked at her and I suppose some of my scepticism showed on my face. She walked over and gave me a big hug "thanks Casey, you're a great friend. I'm still scared, but I'm doing much better. _Really_."

I hugged her back "I'm glad to hear it." As we parted I looked at her again. "How did the two of you sleep? How's Alex doing?"

Before she could answer we were both surprised to hear another voice come from the doorway. "We slept fine but Alex is embarrassed."

We turned and looked at her. "Not always the 'Ice Queen' huh?" I could tell she was feeling somewhat better from the glare she gave me, but it didn't last long before she dropped her gaze to the floor. Olivia went over and put her arms around Alex and held her tightly.

"Ignore Casey, I'll deal with her later" she said giving me a glare of her own. It was somewhat spoiled though by the grin that followed. "You've nothing to be embarrassed about Alex. You've been taking care of me for weeks and I know it's been a tough time for you too. You can't be strong all the time."

We sat down and drank our coffee, then I made a start on breakfast. Liv had her arms around Alex again and was talking quietly to her. I could tell Alex was still uncomfortable and Liv was trying to reassure her. As I set their plates in front of them I put an arm across each of their shoulders and gave Alex a gentle kiss at her temple.

"Alex you have nothing to be embarrassed about. You are two of the strongest women I know and I'm proud of you both. It's been a horrible time for all of us but you've admitted your feelings for each other. _Finally!_ And you've been there for each other whenever you were needed. Alex you've kept Liv going for weeks now, we've all seen it. There's nothing wrong with needing some of that support in return."

"Casey's right Alex. _For once_." Liv smirked at me "it had to happen sometime I suppose."

I saw Alex start to grin "sure. First time for everything."

"Hey this isn't pick on Casey day you know." I pretended to pout, but it was really hard not to smile.

Alex reached up and hugged me. "Thanks Casey. For everything."

"You're welcome. Now eat up both of you."

* * *

><p>I was still concerned about them, after all they'd been through so much and the past 24 hours had been stressful for us all. Although they both seemed a lot better today I decided to keep them company so I could keep an eye on them. Cutter had told me to take what time I needed so I figured another day wouldn't hurt, but I rang him and explained the situation anyway. I asked him not to let on to Alex how much I'd told him as I knew she be embarrassed, but to my relief he was very understanding and promised not to mention any of it.<p>

Once that was all sorted I suggested we have a DVD marathon. They were both keen but unsure why I was staying.

"Look I'm your friend. I worry about you and you both had a tough day yesterday. I'm glad you've got each other, but you need your friends too. Besides, do you really think I could concentrate at work while I'm worrying if you guys are ok?"

Alex looked at me "I thought you didn't have much leave accrued?"

"Don't worry about it, I've cleared it with Cutter, it's not a problem."

They both looked at me sceptically for a moment but then gave up. We choose a DVD and settled down to watch.

* * *

><p>As we got about half way through the first film I realised they'd both been awfully quiet for some time. I looked across at them and realised why.<p>

"Honestly you two! I thought we were meant to be watching this film." I couldn't help grinning as they jumped apart. "Save the make out session for when I've gone will you?"

I'm not sure which of them was blushing the most, but Olivia was first to react when she threw a cushion at me. I grinned and threw it back. It was nice to see them both looking happy and relaxed but I knew things were still going to be difficult for them. All I could hope was that being together would strengthen them enough to see them through the tough times ahead.

* * *

><p>By late afternoon I decided it was time to leave. We'd watched two more DVD's and had a long talk over lunch. I know they're both still scared, but at least they were able to admit that to me as well as each other. It's going to be hard, even after we catch the bastard who attacked Liv, but now that they've finally opened up to each other it should start getting a little easier.<p>

All afternoon they'd sat snuggled up on the sofa holding hands and I could see they needed some time alone now. I was glad I'd stayed this long though. I'd been able to keep an eye on them as well as helping them discuss the situation and clear up a few things that were on their minds. Hopefully they can find some peace together as they now work on developing their relationship.


	16. Chapter 15

**AN: Ok guys I decided to treat you to a second chapter today. I've got a busy day tomorrow and then I'm away for a couple of days so I won't be adding any more chapters until at least Tuesday/Wednesday, so make the most of this.**

**I really need more reviews to help me along the way. I'm particularly interested in what you think of chapters 12 to 15, so please review, review, review.**

**Thanks :)**

**Chapter 15**

**Olivia's POV**

Casey's a great friend, and it was good to know she was looking out for both of us, but I was relieved when she went home. Yesterday was hard and seeing Alex so upset had been even harder than telling Don about the threats. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from me now that I've told them _everything_ I remember. I was so afraid, but I should have realised that I couldn't deal with it all myself. That's always been my weakness though, shutting people out. I'm glad that I was able to open up to Alex more, but seeing her so distressed yesterday was hard. Casey's right, Alex has been so busy looking after me that she bottled up her own feelings. If I'm really going to be there for her, to protect her, I need to help her open up more. Neither of us has ever been very good at that but if we want our relationship to work than we need to get better at it.

* * *

><p><strong>Alex's POV<strong>

Liv and Casey have been great but I still feel embarrassed about yesterday. I was so relieved that Liv didn't shut me out, but I'm afraid. Of course I'm afraid about the threats that were made, but I've been threatened before. Eventually the police will catch him; we just have to be patient although that's not always easy. What really scares me though is the thought of losing Liv. I've kept my feelings for her locked away for so long now and although it was a relief to finally admit them I'm scared about what happens now.

What if things don't work out between us? What if something happens to her? What if she decides she doesn't love me after all, if I'm not enough for her? I must have looked so weak to Liv and Casey yesterday, what if Liv can't handle that, if she decides that she can't be with me after all?

* * *

><p><strong>Olivia's POV<strong>

Alex is really quiet again. We had a good talk with Casey earlier and both of us tried to reassure Alex that she doesn't need to be embarrassed about yesterday but I still don't think she's convinced. She's lost in her own thoughts again. I think it's time we dealt with our feelings and work out what's happening between us. I can't lose her again.

"Alex."

"Yeah Liv."

"Are you ok? You're very quiet."

She shrugged her shoulders "just thinking."

"About yesterday?"

"Yes."

"You're still worried about it aren't you?"

"I. Yes."

"Why?" Alex looked at the floor. I could tell this was hard for her but we really needed to get it in the open. "Alex. Why are you so worried about yesterday? Casey and I both told you it's ok. You've looked after me so long and bottled up your feelings. They had to come out sometime, you know that."

"I guess. I...I just feel so weak falling to pieces like that. I want to be strong for you. I don't want you to leave me." As she finished she looked up at me for a moment and I could see tears in her eyes. She looked away again seeming despondent.

I reached out and pulled her too me. "Alex. I'm scared too. I can't imagine my life without you, but I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me now. Ok?" I felt her start to relax a little but as she looked up at me I could see a few stray tears had escaped from her eyes. I reached up and gently wiped them away before kissing her.

Before I knew it the kiss became deeper yet still gentle. I wanted to reassure her and she seemed to welcome that. I pulled her onto my lap and we sank further into the sofa. Suddenly I felt that it wasn't enough. She needed me, as much if not more than I needed her and I was going to show her how much I love her. As my hand moved down the back of her t-shirt it reached the top of her pants. I tugged her t-shirt out and reached underneath, revelling in the feel of her skin against my palm. She sighed and relaxed against me more.

It felt so good to be holding her like this, but as I deepened the kiss, I realised it still wasn't enough. I pulled her t-shirt over her head and as I looked down at her I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. I kissed her again as my hands roved her body. I felt her reach up under my top and I couldn't help but gasp as her palms stroked across my breasts.

"Liv?"

"Yeah."

"We don't have to do this."

"I know, but now I've started I can't keep my hands off you." I reached down and kissed her again.

"Are you sure you're ready?"

"No, but I'll tell you if I want to stop. I started this remember." I kissed her again, pulling her tighter against me.

As we paused to breathe Alex spoke again "let's go to my room then." I nodded and we both got up. We headed to the bedroom and removed our clothes before snuggling under the covers. I think we were both nervous, but it felt right.

* * *

><p>When I woke up sometime later Alex's head was on my shoulder, her hair spread across my arm. She looked so peaceful, so beautiful and I couldn't help but smile. This wonderful woman beside me, who looked like an angel, was really mine now. I thought about what we had just shared. I'd done everything I could to show her how much I loved her and I'd felt that loved returned. A part of me had been unsure if I was completely ready for this, but Alex had been so gentle with me that I couldn't feel afraid. It seems corny even thinking it, but it had truly been a magical experience and I couldn't help thinking that things could only get better.<p>

For the first time in I don't know how long I'm actually looking forward to the future.


	17. Chapter 16

**AN: Hi everyone, I'm back home and have been trying to get this chapter finished for a couple of days, but I got stuck. I think I've figured it all out now, so I'll get to work on the next chapter ASAP.**

**Enjoy :)**

**Chapter 16**

**Alex's POV**

Wow! How did we get here? A few weeks ago I couldn't imagine ever finding the courage to tell Liv how I feel and I thought I'd kept it well hidden from everyone else too. I should have known Casey would see through my act and I'm glad she did. I'll never forget that night, but as hard as it was, it wasn't all bad. That chat I had with Casey helped me to realise how much I needed to do something about my feelings. I never dared to hope things could work out like this though.

I can't imagine anything more wonderful than waking up in Liv's arms, knowing she loves me as much as I love her. I wish we could stay like this forever and leave the rest of the world outside the door. I know that's impossible though so I'll just have to make sure that we have lots more times like this.

Liv looks so peaceful right now and I wish things could always be this easy. They won't though. Eventually we have to go on with our lives. When the police catch the guy who hurt Liv we'll have to go through the trial. We've both got to get back to work too, once the security issues are dealt with. I'd stay by Liv's side all the time if I could but that's not possible. Some things she'll have to do without me, like work.

I'll always be here for her though. I wasn't sure she'd still want me, after seeing me be so weak, but last night she convinced me that she does want me.

Wow! How did we get here?

* * *

><p><strong>Olivia's POV<strong>

As I woke up next morning the first thing I saw was Alex's smile. It's a beautiful smile that lights up her eyes which were full of love. I can't believe how lucky I am. I couldn't help smiling too.

"Hi beautiful."

Alex blushed. "Hi yourself."

"How long have you been awake?"

"Not long. Just long enough to enjoy watching you sleep."

I smiled even more at that. "That's funny, I was enjoying watching you sleep last night."

"Really?"

"Really. You looked like an angel with your hair spread over my arm and your head on my shoulder." Alex blushed but held my gaze.

"I wish we could stay like this forever" she said.

* * *

><p>I called round to Alex's next day after work. After the talk we'd had I was hoping they were ok but I was half expecting there to be a problem of some sort. When no one answered the door, I used my key. I was growing increasingly concerned about what state they were in. I was somewhat surprised by what I found.<p>

"Hello. Liv. Alex." I looked in the lounge and kitchen but there was no sign of them. As I went up the hall I called out again "Liv, Alex." That's when I heard giggling and a bump as if something had fallen on the floor. A second later Liv stumbled out of Alex's room. Her hair was a mess, she was red in the face and she was only wearing a t-shirt and a huge grin. A moment later Alex appeared in the doorway and peered at me over Olivia's shoulder. She was still straightening her nightshirt that was obviously put on in a hurry as it was inside out – but Alex hadn't realised. She looked at me, blushed and tried to hide her face behind Liv.

"Well I guess I don't need to ask how you two are today."

"I guess not" Liv said with a huge grin on her face.

"Do you think you can leave each other alone long enough to have a coffee with me or should I just go home?"

"What about work? Don't you have to get back?" asked Alex.

"I've done enough, it's after 7pm after all."

Alex jumped "After 7pm?" she squeaked.

"Yes Alex." I looked at my watch "7:18pm to be precise." Alex looked stunned. Liv looked over at her still grinning. "Well I guess you two were too busy to look at a clock much."

* * *

><p>A few minutes later we were all sitting in the lounge drinking the coffee I'd made. They'd both got dressed and insisted I stay and eat with them. While we waited for the pizza to be delivered I decided to have some fun and grill them about what was happening between them. Alex was bright red, but Liv just grinned again as she spoke.<p>

"Alex needed a little reassurance still so I decided to show her how I feel about her instead of just telling her. Then I decided to show her again this morning. And again this afternoon."

"Liv..." Alex blushed more and swatted Liv with a cushion. Liv and I both burst out laughing.

"You know Liv I've never seen Alex like this. I think work is going to be so much more interesting now. You'll definitely have to stop by the office more often so we can all have some fun. Hey..." The cushion had hit me now, and we all laughed.

"Casey Novak you will not be having fun at work at my expense!" Alex was laughing so hard now she had tears rolling down her cheeks.

It was great to see them so happy together and I couldn't get over how different Alex seemed. I've never seen her so happy and relaxed. I hoped things could stay like this for them, but just as I was thinking it something happened.

The doorbell had rung and Alex went to answer it. We weren't expecting anyone, just the food, so when Alex came in with a man behind her I was somewhat surprised, as was Liv. That was nothing though compared to the emotions I could see running across Alex's face. I could tell something was wrong, but she didn't seem afraid. I couldn't put my finger on the problem but both Liv and I were alert.

"Casey, Olivia, this is my cousin Michael."


	18. Chapter 17

**AN: Hi everyone,**

**I'm sorry it's taken so long to update. Real life and my muse taking a vacation got in the way of this story. My muse has now decided she also wants to work on another story so if any of you are Star Trek fans take a look.**

**In the meantime I could do with lots of reviews of this short chapter and your suggestions. I need to figure out how they respond to the letter in this chapter – so please give me your ideas.**

**I know where I want this story to go overall but I need to get past this hurdle first.**

**Thanks for reading – enjoy :)**

**Chapter 17**

I couldn't work out why there should be a problem with Alex's cousin coming to visit but from the look on Alex's face there was clearly something wrong. Later on it would become clear what the problem was.

"Well Alex, aren't you going to introduce us." Michael spoke harshly.

"Um, yeah, of course. Michael this is Casey Novak, she works with me at the DA's office and this is Detective Olivia Benson." Alex's voice trembled as she spoke.

"So this is your Detective." He spun round and looked straight at Alex. "I hope she's worth it Alex, but if she's not then now is the time to say so. You've not answered Father's letters, so he sent me."

"Michael, you know my answer. I can't believe you're doing his dirty work for him."

"_I_ can't believe the family's good name means so little to _you_."

"GET OUT MICHAEL. NOW" I could see Alex shaking as she shouted at him. "NEVER CONTACT ME AGAIN." Liv walked over and put her arms around Alex.

"Well if that's your decision Alex then it was nice knowing you." Michael walked to the door and opened it. "Goodbye Alex."

As we heard the door close I looked back at where Alex and Liv stood. Alex was shaking even more than before and I could see tears starting to fall from her eyes. Liv reached up and caressed her cheek before leading Alex to the sofa. I went and sat on the coffee table in front of them and looked directly at Alex.

"What was that about Alex? What's wrong?" As I waited for her to answer me I reached out and took hold of her hand.

It was several minutes before Alex calmed down enough to speak to us. Liv and I had looked at each other, but she clearly had no more idea than I did as to what was going on. Eventually Alex looked at me.

"Casey, could you fetch my briefcase from the hall please."

"Sure." I went and retrieved the briefcase and handed it to Alex. She opened it and pulled out a folder containing several letters. After searching through them, she pulled one out and handed it to Liv. I moved to sit next to Liv and together we read.

_Alex,_

_You've not responded to my previous letters. This is your last chance. If you do not end your ridiculous affair with that inappropriate character then you will be publicly cut off by the entire family._

_We have many connections with eligible sons who we would be delighted to introduce you to. Think of your family. We only have your best interests at heart. Think of your career. You will never be able to advance to a political position if you disgrace yourself like this._

_I expect to hear from you by the end of next week._

_Benjamin Cabot_

As Liv lowered the letter Alex began to speak to us. "It seems my feelings were obvious to my family when I first told them Liv was staying here. They didn't believe me when I said nothing had happened and assumed we were already in a relationship. A few weeks ago the first of the letters arrived. I didn't take it seriously at first, but after the third letter I realised they were very serious. This last one came the other morning, the day Huang called us to the precinct, the day we finally admitted our feelings."

Alex hung her head and sat back with a large sigh.


End file.
